Energy is ON! Day 32, finally, human again?
DAY 32!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel human, I feel alive. Okay, I'm not saying I feel amazing - but pretty good. I feel like a 'normal' human being or what I imagine that to feel like.
I did some house cleaning, I did a couple of body weight exercises - nothing major but a few. I also can't help but wonder if the few exercises I did yesterday have lifted my energy levels.
Dinner is already cooked. Lunch is (mostly) packed.
This may all seem quite minor - it's hard to think back and I almost don't want to. Everything was an effort, I would 'just stare' at things that needed doing. I could spend a long, long time just *thinking* about what needed to be done. I felt so exceptionally tired, weak within my body. I felt a sadness (that is still there a bit at times).
The blog post I made about shame and guilt, I think that in turn, helped me.
My sleep cycle isn't perfect but it's improving. I dragged myself out of bed at 8:15 am and did not let myself go back to sleep. For me, this is the definition of success! I just hope I can sleep tonight. Speaking of sleep, I am tired, so I'm going to finish this post here - the first month I can truly say was horrid for me and it's probably just the last 2 days that I have felt 'okay'. I cannot believe I was sleeping in till 2 pm etc and how awful the withdrawals were (particularly in the first 2 weeks). I am SO glad that nightmare is over! Alcohol takes more than it gives, it's not worth it.