Are you feeling shame and guilt whilst in recovery / sobriety / being sober? Read ON!

A common theme I am coming to notice is that people in recovery feel shame and guilt - memories flooding in of things you did that you wish you hadn't, feeling 'less than' for having this problem, overcome by emotions (include me on that last one please!). I know this isn't rocket science, but those emotions are NOT serving you, they are pulling you into your past. I get these feelings too - times I remember having my music on when it was a school night and my son saying to me the next day, 'I couldn't sleep because of YOUR music'. Ugh, Mother of the year award right there, right? I still get freaked out as well that a school Mum or a co-worker may read my blog and realise it's 'me'.

This is the thing though, I'm refusing to feel the shame. Actually, refusing isn't the right word, I accept and acknowledge it but then I take it as a reminder to turn my focus towards the future, I take it as a sign to put some more work into my recovery. That helps move me away from those unhelpful feelings that are not going to serve me or my sobriety. Don't let other people dump shame on you either, if people are 'carrying on' about 'your drinking problem', remind them that you are not that person anymore, that you are a work in progress (as we all are, because we are all human) - and that you are working on your recovery. I'm actually extremely PROUD of my recovery, we are the ones that fight for a better life, we push to be THE BEST version of ourselves, we TRY! We have every right to be really proud of that as far as I'm concerned. If anybody wants to rain on that parade and isn't supportive, I question why?

I am lucky to have a fabulous support system around me - I 'outed myself' to my closest family and friends. I simply told them that I had a tendency to turn to alcohol when I was stressed so I'd made the decision to not drink anymore. I told them whilst I got used to this transition that I would be turning down invitations that involve (revolve!) around alcohol. They all understood and most said 'I wish I could do it too, well done'. It hasn't been mentioned since - perhaps signalling how taboo addiction is to talk about or perhaps signalling that WE build this up in our minds but other people (mostly!) choose to support our choices if they are positive people to have in our lives.

I refuse to give in to shame! Genetic predisposition, coupled with anxiety and the impact alcohol has on the brain - I don't really see it that bizarre that I became addicted.

I encourage you NOT to give in to shame. What do you think? How have you handled this - or are you still finding your way through? Be brave and leave me a comment! It really keeps ME going when I get a comment - the opposite of addiction is connection.

Okay, take care. Day 31 for me by the way! :)

IJCD
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Do you really think these feelings are serving you?

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